Dallas: Day 2
I left Fido’s facility in the early afternoon. I “needed” a couple of movies for my PSP so I stopped at a few places that were on the way (Circuit City, EB, and Best Buy). I ended up getting Pirates of the Caribbean and the pilot episodes of Lost (pretty good show, I’m going to have to rent the first few seasons—or have someone dl them for me). After I dropped the rental car off in DFW I caught a bus to the airport and went in to get my (e)Ticket…oh boy; 50 hot high school volleyball players are there getting tickets to (where else) Vegas. Needless to say, I was excited at the possibility of them all being on my flight. As I waited in line trying not to look like a scum bag (and doing a terrible job of it) I finally got to the front of the line. I went to the terminal, put in my credit card, and…nothing. System cannot find your reservation or some such rubbish. I tried it again. Same deal. I (embarrassingly) had to get some assistance. Idiot. Although the flight was an American West flight, it was operated by US Air…so I had to schlep it over to their terminals (at least I got to hang out with the hot girls for a while). I got to the right terminals and put my card in…Success! It even gave me the option to change seats (I was in seat 17D in an 18 row plane). Remarkably, seat 1A was available for no additional charge. Sweet. I take that and make my way to the terminal. Having more than an hour and change, I decide to walk around wonderful Terminal B at DFW. I saw several things worth mentioning (like the high school volleyball girls all over the place); a shirt that said “DMWT” across the front in big, bold letters (yes, that DOES mean ‘Don’t Mess With Texas’), a leather vest in the colors and design of the Texas flag (seriously); did I mention the Volley ball players? I also noticed that all the terminals there (A, B, C, D, etc) were shaped like horseshoes, which was somewhat hilarious.
Still having plenty of time, I got a pizza, some breadsticks, and a beer (thanks Fido!).The plane was late getting in, which of course meant my departure time was going to be delayed, which sucked because I only had a 40 minute lay over in DC. So I finally get on the plane (1A!!!) and as I’m walking down the whatever to get onto the plane some dude starts talking to me…he’s also making a connection in DC to get to Manchvegas. Like the super big tool that I am, I try to brag about my seat (did I mention I got 1A?). Well, my new found friend set me straight. He told me that on planes this size all the seats were considered coach (I double checked my ticket to confirm this and dammit he was right). Still though, 1A, which means that I’m right up front, I get out first, etc. It’s gonna be great, like First Class Lite. Nope. Once again, my friend informed me that being in the front row not only do I NOT get storage space in front of me like you would in any other seat, in all likelihood I wouldn’t get a tray table either. Awesome, glad I spent $41 on movies for my PSP that I now have to hold the entire time instead of putting it in it’s stand and relaxing and enjoying it. Things weren’t looking good. Did I mention that I changed my seat to 1A from 17D? So, instead of being one of the first people on the plane (since I was in the second to last row and they board back to front), I was pretty much dead last. Did I also mention that this was a smaller plane? Which means, by the time I finally got on, there was no room for my stuff (I had a small carry-on bag loaded to the brim and a similarly packed laptop bag)? This would have been no problem if 1.) I had boarded earlier on (like I originally should have) and had plenty of time to store my crap or 2.) If I had a seat with storage space in front of it (like under the seat in front of me). Since I had neither, some random guy (since we were way behind schedule there was a mad rush to get going) came and told me that I would have to check it and he asked where my final destination was. I told him Manchester and he took my bag and ran away. Having no idea what just happened I sat down convinced I would never see my stuff again. Ever. We finally take off, and well, you know what happened on the plane (I watched Lost). Did I tell you that I liked Lost, because I did. So, since we were so far behind, I, like many of my fellow passengers, kept berating the stewardess (who totally sucked) about connecting flights, if we’re going to make it on time, etc etc etc. Much like you would expect from a crappy stewardess, she did little to sooth our worries. The best we got from her was “ohhhh, I’m sure everything will be fine.”
We land in DC. Slightly off topic, flying into DC at night is VERY cool. I even saw the Washington Monument (you know, it’s the one that looks like a giant cock). OK, so as we’re coming in (haha, I just said giant cock and now I said coming in) everyone around me (somehow everyone going to Manchester ended up in the same general area) kept looking at their watches, clocks, phones, etc. The plane was scheduled to leave at 9:10. It’s 8:58 now. Now it’s 9:01. Now it’s 9:04…you get the idea. Hilarious jokes were made (Passenger headed to somewhere else: Looks like I’ve got time for a beer before my flight. Passenger headed to Manchester: Oh, I think we will too! Bahahahahahaha!ok, I admit it, that was me).
We get to the gate. 9:06. Sitting in my super cool, way awesome seat, I can see the gate right out my window. Only, the gate isn’t moving towards the plane. WTF. 9:07. 9:08…WTF! 9:09…Finally, the announcement comes over the plane: Sorry for the delay, but thedidn’t realize we were waiting. Thanks, &*!(@&. 9:15 and I book it outta the plane with about 4 people behind me. Maybe our plane is late too, we all hoped (oh, and have I mentioned that I had no idea at this point if I was supposed to wait for my bag-anyone familiar with the concept of gate side checking?—hopefully, I assumed, it will all be taken care of. Probably not though. And I DID ask the stewardess at some point but she had no idea what I was talking about. Really, bitch, because you were standing right there and were talking to him when it happened). Well, thankfully, the plane indeed had NOT taken off. Finally, a break I think (not stopping to think why the plane hadn’t left the gate, let alone take off yet, it now being 9:18). Well, I didn’t have to wait long to find out that there was some sort of maintenance issue. On the plus side, I actually had a legit first class ticket (for a 737 anyways), and the seat was awesome. Huge, leather, Captain-Kirk type chairs.
Anyways, I was in the second row (which, I recently found out, is MUCH, MUCH better than the first row) and 2 elderly people were sitting right in front of me, looking ridiculous in their huge seats. Maybe 45 seconds had passed when the announcement came that the maintenance issues were bigger than anticipated and we would have to deboard and get onto another plane (yes, I ALSO assume my luggage is long gone at this point). This was apparently too much for the old guy in front of me and he losses it. I heard several hilarious clichés come out of his mouth (word for word) such as: This is ridiculous, we have to get to bed! This is totally unacceptable! Whatever way you slice it (I’m serious, he said those exact words) this is still a shitty situation! I get off the plane, trying not to laugh at the guy and call K, who wasn’t feeling well but still said it was OK to come over to her house when I got into Manchester. After a while a new plane arrived and I boarded first (after the people with children), which was totally a power trip, and went right to work on this post. I also took advantage of the complimentary booze to first class customers (thanks Fido!) When I got into Manchester (around 1AM) my luggage, surprisingly enough, was not there. I filed a complaint, gave them my info, etc and went home with nothing but my laptop.